Caring for Yourself
It’s raining lightly outside. Kinda chilly back here in the drafty sunroom; but it’s bright, there are plants and signs of a really happy life. This space makes me write. Writing is my deep self-care. This weather is ripe for reflection.
But truth be told, I could go about this day watching shows on Netflix in the dark and taking a few baths. Soft robe, avoiding responsibilities. It sounds lovely for today’s grey and wet. But I know myself and it’d only feel good for the hours spent doing it. The sun would go down and I’d be mad at myself.
That’s me, though.
The best self-care days are the ones where I get a bunch of stuff done on my to-do list but throw in something for me , too. Like today I’d really love to rearrange Eva’s room (for me), go buy mushrooms and a food processor, make some sauce and deliver it, sketch out the floor plan of the space (for Nourished). If I stick to this and get just one bath and a good stretch in, sleep will come easily tonight.
Here are some other things that feel good to me - that really feel like I’m practicing self-care:
Watering and pruning the plants. Digging in the dirt. Sweating. Chopping onions and crying a little bit. Cleaning the bathtub and then taking a bath in it. WHOA! ULTIMATE SPA EXPERIENCE. Speaking calmly to my toddler. Putting an ice pack on my neck at night. Walking our almost 14 year old beagle during the “work” day. Reading the words of Jesus. Looking at myself in the mirror and being like, “Daaaaaannnnng, girl - you are lookin’ GREAT today” while winking. Getting a massage or facial: CLASSIC I know, but really. Eating vegetables for breakfast. Belting super loud a country song from childhood, (brb gonna go do that). Not looking at my stinkin’ phone all day.
Most of these things probably don’t mean a lot to you. You’re thinking, ‘uh uh no way country is not cool, Riah’.
Yes, it is.
Haha — Alright what I am trying to get at here, while I mask my seriousness with humor, is that what feels good to me may not feel like self-care to you. That the laying in the dark watching Netflix all day thing that brings on anxiety and guilt for me—yes, I do it anyway because band-aids are good sometimes and I’m literally writing right now to avoid doing it—can feel soul healing for you.
And that’s GOOD. It’s OK that we all do things to care for ourselves differently. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re doing it wrong - they’re just wanting you to do it their way because they know it works for them. You can try what works for them but don’t feel bad if it doesn’t work for you. Don’t let capitalism tell you that you’ve gotta buy something to care for yourself - though you can do that, too if you want!
But try and pay attention to what feels good for the long term. That feels like rejuvenation, joy reserve filling, body comforting, peace in the mind building. Use the band-aids and don’t feel guilty about them. Preaching to myself, too, I swear.
