Reflections on Birth Doula Work

Truth be told, I don’t remember the reason taking doula training was going to be my next thing. I just remember being sad that there wasn’t something next, (after having a baby, identity fully wrapped up in being a mom), and then feeling like the decision to drop $599 on the training was the cure for the sadness. The training wasn’t boring AT. ALL. I soaked up every little piece of information and was IN.

My friend Sarah let me be her doula. I say LET because it would be my first birth and trusting someone enough to let them be in your space like that is, well, I just admire anyone who does and so my first thank you goes to her for that gift. Everyone of y’all who have let me be with you, serve you: THANK YOU. Really.

It was a really long birth and I loved every minute of it. The being there at midnight on the third floor of their condo, doing hip squeezes on the bed, getting clothes on and going to the hospital. Putting on makeup in between waves. Eating a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit. Sleeping for a little bit, upright in a chair. Just being able to watch her heart and body prepare for and birth a baby. MAGIC.

Every birth since then, 25 now and waiting on one more for the year, has felt like that. I leave every one in utter awe of this thing about our lives. Childbirth. I always find myself saying to people that it really is
”the one true miracle we can witness in life”. Any doula would tell you the way you feel after witnessing such a thing is only to be described as a ‘birth high’.

I love it. I love figuring out a person’s personality and what they want their birth to look like. I love the exchanges in late pregnancy - “baby is feeling really low”, “I am ready”, “having more Braxton Hicks at night”, “about to eat Thai food.” Deciding when to go to the hospital. Watching the partner react to happenings, how they support. Getting to know friends and families. Woofing down something to eat in the cafeteria that’s not going to make me feel bloated for the next however many hours. Even the three day long births.

While I prepare to focus on this next big thing — taking care of folks with food and space to fill joy reservoirs — and have very limited time in the birth room, I can look back on it all with adoration. It was the first real step in pursuing my actual career. So here it is, the cliche: This work is my calling.